Most of the time anxiety doesn’t make any sense.
Giving a presentation in front of a huge crowd and feeling anxious is “normal”; however, little things like answering a phone call, simply paying a cashier or even just walking pass people whom you do not know can also cause anxiety. These are things which I have done over and over again yet, I still get anxious every time.
There are days where I find it difficult to sleep because my mind just won’t stop thinking. The thing is you cannot cure anxiety you can only control it. I tend to find being surrounded by loved ones plays a huge role in helping me control my anxiety. It helps cause a “distraction”. However, I can still feel anxious around them, I can still feel like the world is collapsing even though they will be doing everything that they can possibly do to help me. It is ok to feel this way because you have no control over your anxiety, it just happens!
I always feel like I am trying to live in the moment yet, somehow my mind wonders off and starts worrying about events that will be happening in a month or something silly that I have done in the past. I constantly worry about what people think of me just because when I meet them I tend to stay quiet. My brain is never quiet, it is constantly there reminding me that I have so many issues and making me feel so alone even though I am not.
Half of the time I cannot explain what I get anxious about and the other half of the time I would feel scared that you will judge me. Even though I can easily explain what I will be feeling, it is difficult to explain why all of a sudden I became anxious just because there is a lot of noise in a room or just simply driving in a car.
Deep down I don’t care what people think of me; however, my anxiety does and it makes sure that I do even when I don’t. My anxiety makes sure that I am always awkward and concerned especially when it comes to going to events. Please don’t judge anybody going through this because it only makes it more difficult for the person who is probably worrying that you are judging them. I don’t expect anybody to understand my anxiety because in all honesty I don’t even understand it myself.
Keep in mind that eventually you will be ok, even though, at that minute during your anxiety attack you will feel like your world is falling apart. Tell yourself that you will be ok!